dont run before you walk...

where could i have gone?? how could i have been? my world used to be so completely different than what it is today. everything within me has been broken and shattered to a million pieces.. parts of those pieces have been stolen and misplaced. who needs them anyway..

ive got cuts on my cuts and scars that still bleed. they wont be there forever.. little by little im healing. my chest doesnt feel as empty as it was yesterday. i still think of the stupid things ive done and the things people have done to me. what am i going to choose to be?? the victim or the victor? it makes more sense to be the victor... at least with my personality.. im to proud to let someone think they've beaten me down.. though its so much easier to be the victim.. but the victor achieves more. i think VICTOR wins hands down..

sure every once in awhile i fall down... but i dust off my knees and get back up again.. sometimes i even try to run before i walk.. never ends well.. but i learn and keep moving...

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Casita Mujeres.

I havent written much on my trip to Honduras and I'm not exactly sure why. Here is my first attempt. The one outreach that sticks out in my mind and I'm sure everyone else's was when we went to CASITA MUJERES. It was a "home" for young girls from the ages of maybe 6-18. On this day Pastor Chace asked me if I would give my testimony. Now in my head I'm thinking "are you serious" but I of course say yes. This is my first time ever to give the story of what made me who I am today. That whole day I was so nervous, anyone who knows me also knows that I'm not one to really get nervous about anything. Just the thought of exposing who I am to a whole crowd of people including those from church and my siblings, it just made me feel vulnerable. Our bus is driving on down the road to our destination when we notice a traffic jam. Great it's already hot and sweaty and now there is no movement for the air to circulate through the bus. I guess it was exactl...

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missing: Lauryn Dickens

so i have decided that once a week i am going to post a blog about a missing person. i figure why not use this for good..so please if we can lets bring these people home.. this doodlebugs name is Lauryn Dickens .. Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Nov 24, 2009 Sex: Female Missing Date: Sep 7, 2010 Race: Black Age Now: 11 Month(s) Height: 1'9" (53 cm) Missing City: MEMPHIS Weight: 17 lbs (8 kg) Missing State : TN Hair Color: Black Missing Country: United States Eye Color: Brown Case Number: NCMC1156424 Circumstances: Lauryn was last seen September 7, 2010. She may be in the company of an adult female. Lauryn was last seen wearing a brown onesie with a pink flower and pink dots. She has a skin rash on both forearms and inner knees. if you have any information please contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited children 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678) also you can go to their website www.missingkids.com

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i am not so naive

Sometime I wish people would learn not to underestimate me. When I want to get somewhere or get something accomplished I am very capable of doing so. Of course there are always limitations and set backs but I know how to push through it. I lived in a time where our money was tight and we had very little but we made it through.. Just because I am where I am today and don't look like i have ever had to fight my way out of the bottom doesn't mean anything. Looks can and are deceiving. Of course I don't believe in telling what most would call a "sob" story. I am not one who looks for a pity party.. But please know that I do know what it is like to go without in many aspects. I embrace that time in my life and it has taught me to be thankful of what I have. I will never forget it but I also will never return. Was it by choice and my own doing?? Of course not, who chooses to go without? Being born into it is one thing.. but staying in it is another. We all make decision...

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heroless endeavor

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