ode to the foolish female

could it be that you inspire me in the very worst way.
i mistake your mask for reality
and your words for truth.
how a heart is easily fooled to believe in compromise..
how a head convinces the wise to be foolish.
im at your every beck and call
i have said i wont wait
but here i am waiting for a sign.
u promise me a utopia before you crash my world into shambles.
you spit on the very thought of my success
and chew my words as if they have no real meaning.
i fight and i embrace the thought of who you seemed to be.
i just lay here hoping that soon enough you will lie with me.
what a bottomless thought..
an ignorant dream.
in some sick way.. i know this is what i deserve
of course it is im just waiting for him to tell me what i did.