concrete walls

concrete walls
Sometimes pushing you away is so much easier
Securing my walls with concrete and metal.
Theres a tragic beauty in building the impossible
but also a menacing aching in being locked in.

I don't believe in relaxing.
I've been fighting and pushing for far too long.
I don't even know what clarity is anymore.
i missed the lesson on being depentdent on anyone.

Maybe one day your love will be music to my ears
Your hope the window in my empty room.
Someday your generosity i will accept.
Maybe I'll learn people don't always have alterior motives.

I bleed with need but cringe at the though of needing.
My eyes glisten with envy as I see what could possibly be.
Then I soak in the reality of who I am
What I've become inside, who I have lost with my walls

I'll just keep running, hiding.