Skip to main content

foolish little girl; by tanya amidei

this was not written by me... but by my long lost friend in New York.. she is an amazing writer and poet. she amazes me a little everyday..


He touched me without touching me at first
Dude spoke so smooth I thought for sure there was no room for deception
So after time I gave into my misperception
Eyes so blind nothing seemed like something to me; Eve eating from the forbidden tree
He could be one, two, and three
and I could be his Queen; false reality
He could never love me, yet he loved what I'd bring
His heart not available, but his body free
He loves her, not me
I hear him secretly call out her name while he uses me emotionally and physically
No wait,even better that was his heart beating her name
And yet I was the one in their sheets screaming his name
such a shame
he picked me up like a clean white towel
and used me until I started to smell like his bowels
Heartbreaking
Soul shaking
Mind racing
Body paining
yet I still craved his "love"
so I prayed, God, tell me one day he will wake up
Tell me he will love me
Foolish little girl trapped in fantasy
He loves her
He just needed something or someone to bruise while she took him through
And I just happened to believe in him all to soon

by: Tanya Amidei

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Casita Mujeres.

I havent written much on my trip to Honduras and I'm not exactly sure why. Here is my first attempt. The one outreach that sticks out in my mind and I'm sure everyone else's was when we went to CASITA MUJERES. It was a "home" for young girls from the ages of maybe 6-18. On this day Pastor Chace asked me if I would give my testimony. Now in my head I'm thinking "are you serious" but I of course say yes. This is my first time ever to give the story of what made me who I am today. That whole day I was so nervous, anyone who knows me also knows that I'm not one to really get nervous about anything. Just the thought of exposing who I am to a whole crowd of people including those from church and my siblings, it just made me feel vulnerable. Our bus is driving on down the road to our destination when we notice a traffic jam. Great it's already hot and sweaty and now there is no movement for the air to circulate through the bus. I guess it was exactl...
2 comments
older posts

Insecure

For various reasons that don't directly deal with me, I have come to think upon a few things. I am speaking from a female perspective but I come to assume that insecurities seem to stem from the same type of problems. Everyday we deal with people who have a huge impact on us personally, people that we love, people who's opinions matter. When their persepective of us has been scewed in anyway we tend to take it to heart. It's human nature to take their words and feel them deeper than they should be. So when they speak of or to us in a way thats negative we will begin to perceive ourselves in a negative manner. Or when we come to find that those persons have done you wrong we begin to think there must be something I'm missing. Each and everything they do affects us. If a person cheats, we think; something MUST be wrong with us. If a person lies to us, we wonder why we were not worth the truth. What could we have done to prevent them from going off and doing us wrong? They...
Post a Comment
older posts

i am not so naive

Sometime I wish people would learn not to underestimate me. When I want to get somewhere or get something accomplished I am very capable of doing so. Of course there are always limitations and set backs but I know how to push through it. I lived in a time where our money was tight and we had very little but we made it through.. Just because I am where I am today and don't look like i have ever had to fight my way out of the bottom doesn't mean anything. Looks can and are deceiving. Of course I don't believe in telling what most would call a "sob" story. I am not one who looks for a pity party.. But please know that I do know what it is like to go without in many aspects. I embrace that time in my life and it has taught me to be thankful of what I have. I will never forget it but I also will never return. Was it by choice and my own doing?? Of course not, who chooses to go without? Being born into it is one thing.. but staying in it is another. We all make decision...
Post a Comment
older posts