for fear of losing you

where were you tonight?
i needed you, i called.
i was presented with the echoing ring
and deadly silence.
i just needed to hear your voice.
i needed your reassurance.
sometimes even when we're together
i feel so alone.
i need to find comfort with you..
but sometimes what i say doesnt seem to matter.
its countered with the nonchalant additude.
i ache from fear of losing it all.
what if you get tired and just walk away.
i pretend to give up easily,
just in case you decide to back out.
i am afraid you will turn around
and leave me.
ultimately thats what causes me to hold on tightly
but its also causing me to push you away.