Skip to main content

innocent?

i was innocent once.
that was a long time ago
or so it seems.
that was before the long nights
the echoing screams and the breaking glass.
that was before curiousity got the best of me.
before my mouth spilled lies and my heart held anger.
before i closed my heart and built up 24 layers of
what seems to be unpenetrable walls.
that was when watching cartoons in the morning was more
important than the extra sleep i don't need.
long before the fear of movies, dark and people came about.
a time when i could talk to anyone.
before everything people said wasn't always
a sexual comment or a hurtful word.
where kids didnt practice sex at the age of 10
and playing in the mud wasn't as bad as a "contagious disease".
internet didnt rule the world and friends were real friends.
when i got open spankings for acting out in public and noone
threatened to call social services.
that was when inncence was possible

Comments

  1. I really liked this. Like, I'll come back to read it again kind of 'like' :)

    It seems like so much of what comes out of peoples mouths are either foul or hateful, just like you said. It' so sad how blind people are to the mental, physical, and emotional consequences of sex, and that children are playing with fires that might burn out their lives :P

    But then, there are precious people like you out there. Genuine and warm hearted--even after all of the crap you've been through. It sucks having to dig through all of the hurtful and mean people out there to find the good ones... but so many of them are hurting themselves, they just don't know what to do with it.

    The darker the world, the brighter you shine.. it's cliche to say, but oh so true. Keep shining bright, darling :)

    *Trisha*

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

missing: Lauryn Dickens

so i have decided that once a week i am going to post a blog about a missing person. i figure why not use this for good..so please if we can lets bring these people home.. this doodlebugs name is Lauryn Dickens .. Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Nov 24, 2009 Sex: Female Missing Date: Sep 7, 2010 Race: Black Age Now: 11 Month(s) Height: 1'9" (53 cm) Missing City: MEMPHIS Weight: 17 lbs (8 kg) Missing State : TN Hair Color: Black Missing Country: United States Eye Color: Brown Case Number: NCMC1156424 Circumstances: Lauryn was last seen September 7, 2010. She may be in the company of an adult female. Lauryn was last seen wearing a brown onesie with a pink flower and pink dots. She has a skin rash on both forearms and inner knees. if you have any information please contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited children 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678) also you can go to their website www.missingkids.com

i am not so naive

Sometime I wish people would learn not to underestimate me. When I want to get somewhere or get something accomplished I am very capable of doing so. Of course there are always limitations and set backs but I know how to push through it. I lived in a time where our money was tight and we had very little but we made it through.. Just because I am where I am today and don't look like i have ever had to fight my way out of the bottom doesn't mean anything. Looks can and are deceiving. Of course I don't believe in telling what most would call a "sob" story. I am not one who looks for a pity party.. But please know that I do know what it is like to go without in many aspects. I embrace that time in my life and it has taught me to be thankful of what I have. I will never forget it but I also will never return. Was it by choice and my own doing?? Of course not, who chooses to go without? Being born into it is one thing.. but staying in it is another. We all make decision...

Casita Mujeres.

I havent written much on my trip to Honduras and I'm not exactly sure why. Here is my first attempt. The one outreach that sticks out in my mind and I'm sure everyone else's was when we went to CASITA MUJERES. It was a "home" for young girls from the ages of maybe 6-18. On this day Pastor Chace asked me if I would give my testimony. Now in my head I'm thinking "are you serious" but I of course say yes. This is my first time ever to give the story of what made me who I am today. That whole day I was so nervous, anyone who knows me also knows that I'm not one to really get nervous about anything. Just the thought of exposing who I am to a whole crowd of people including those from church and my siblings, it just made me feel vulnerable. Our bus is driving on down the road to our destination when we notice a traffic jam. Great it's already hot and sweaty and now there is no movement for the air to circulate through the bus. I guess it was exactl...