heroless endeavor

[learning to have a heart] So yes I have been sitting in a river of my own tears while reading MORE of GMH stories. I can't help it the are just so inspirational and they touch my heart.. Which believe me is harder than it seems. "Yesterday I was downtown shopping and I saw a skinny homeless man. He asked me to buy him a bag of chips. I bought him two slices of pizza and two waters and told him he could save the other for dinner. He thanked me and I went into a store. When i came out, i saw that he had shared it with a homeless woman. Selflessness in any situation, GMH." I have seen both sides of the homeless. When I was 16 I was I had the privilege of making huge pots of over spiced spaghetti and garlic bread and feeding it to the homeless of Kansas City. I can say it was one of the most life changing experience I have had. It opened my eyes to a world I knew nothing about. Sure I know poverty but not like this. Seeing men, women, and children living on the streets broke...

When I woke up a good friend of mine sent me lil' stories from a website called GIVES ME HOPE . People from around the world share little stories about the things that let them know Hope is still alive. There is a reason for everything. Here is an example. "28 years ago, a pregnant woman went to a doctor who told her that, due to her drug abuse and alcoholism, her baby would be mentally handicapped and physically deformed. He recommended an abortion, but she refused. Yesterday, I received my doctorate degree in astrophysics from MIT. Mom, you GMH" I thought this was incredible. For a mother to go against the doctors not knowing if her baby will be OK but still willing to take on the challenge. She must have known God had a plan for her baby. This is proof the doctors aren't always right. Life is important. Think about all of the "would have beens" of the children that are murdered daily. In the United States alone DAILY: 3,304 WEEKLY: 23,196 MONTHLY: 100,51...

Britney.. why didn't you do it this good.. oh yeah you need way to many voice overs!! dang he is GRRREEEAAAATTTT.. (way better than tony the tiger) and he has piano skills and amazing hair.. enjoy!!

so i have FAILED my negativity challenge.. URGH.. i will have to pick it up again. It's just way to easy to make snide comments.. and watching Jersey Shore definately didn't help.. goodness I am a mess.. haha well here is till next time.. i can't believe i couldn't even do it for a week..

this video made my night.. Definately Love the fact that i am in love with a man with military swag.. it's that OORAH kinda thing.. Semper Fi baby!!!

The average human brain contains about 100 billion nerve cells. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. It takes about 72 muscles to produce human speech. The average life span of a taste bud is only ten days. The average cough comes out of your mouth at 60 miles per hour. We are born without knee caps; they don't appear until 2-6 years of age. Children grow faster in the springtime. It takes an hour for your stomach to break down cow milk. Our eyes stay the same size throughout life, but our nose and ears never stop growing. The average surface length of your intestines is 665 feet. The average human will shed over forty pounds of skin in their lifetime, We are born with 300 bones, but only end up with 206 when we are adults. Each square inch of human skin consists of 20 feet of blood vessels. During a 24 hour period the average human with breathe 23,040 times. Human thigh bones are stronger then concrete. Our skulls are made up of 26 different bones. Hair is made of the s...

And yet another incredible blog giveaway presented from INSPIRED HOUSE OF WRIGHT . If you need a bit of cheer and optimism .. this is the perfect place for you to go. She is definately one to give you a pick me up when it's needed... HAPPY READING..

So I read PINK CUPCAKE blog and she is having her 1st GIVEAWAY. It's to shabby apple !! if you enjoy vintage you will LOVE it.. Hey even if vintage isn't necessarily your thing you will find something you will like I am sure of it. so head on over to PINK CUPCAKE'S blog and enter to win.. it's 2 easy steps. check it out!!

my sister, my dad, me. Remember I said I would make a post about one family member a week.. well now that it's Saturday I think I am cutting it a lil close.. So my first one will be about my daddy. We didn't meet until I was 10. You see he isn't my biological father but he is my father. He has been there through thick and thin and he loves me with all his heart, as do I him. We have had our ups and downs. But he chose to stick around. He and my mother got married in 1997. I respect him completely, he made the decision to take on a family of three kids. He has never gave us reason to doubt his love. How many men would take on that type of responsiblity. I know for a fact it was a God thing. I am completely blessed. I love him and I know he knows that.. Yes, I am a daddy's girl.. and proud of it. :)

Flan in she shape of hello kitty... mmm YES PLEASE! Do you remember doing these in grade school?? Oh what cartoons are now. The coolest moccasins and I want them

I know it has only been a day since I started this challenge, but let me tell you it is not easy. So far I have bit my tongue and have done a good job at not speaking anything out loud. My problem is in my head. It spins with words. I think that will be my roughest spot.. cleaning out my head. It is harder than you think. It's hard to shut off the thoughts that are trying to come out of your mouth.. But so far I can say I am doing better than I thought I would. I hope this can spread. :) sincerely [ME].

I thought this would be an interesting challenge : I am sitting here thinking about how much negativity we can take out of our lives if we learn to keep our mouths closed. How much better will a day be if we just don't always say whats in our heads. So I am going to try and take this on. I'll let you know my progress.. but believe me this will not be easy.. at least not for me.. :P But i love a good challenge so LETS DO THIS..

the big city The city is a big place for a girl like me. Everything lurking in the corners. The lights; blinding. The traffic; suffocating. The people; ferocious, in all the wrong ways. Not a warm spirit within sight. The street curb is where i fell. What if the tv devils are true? The rapists, murderers, and convicts.. What if they all come to get me? The cold surrounds me It reminds me: I'm alone now.

weheartit How I dream to walk in a place with pink trees. It would definately tickle my fancy. :P

How crazy is that?!?!

[I'm tired of burning papers i didn't mean to throw away. I'm tired of writing the same old song cuz there's no way out till you let me in.. ] I'm hoping someone else out there loves them as much as I do. :)

Family:Michaela, Christian, Dad, Mom, Anastasia (Me), Daniel LOS AMO MUCHO So I have been pondering about different things to blog about. Of course I have a handful of ideas but I am taking my time just to make sure each one comes out the way I want it. I have a problem with rushing things..So this is my new thing: I will blogg about one family member a week until my immediate family is all blogged about. so that will be 6 weeks.. Yay?!?! Don't worry we are just your average everyday, somewhat dysfunctional bunch of people. Yet we love eachother endlessly. How? I really have no idea.. They are my pride and joy (and no I am not talking about my own children here). I am very proud of all of us and how far we have come in life. So readers be warned this might be a bumpy, crazy, maybe even somewhat boring ride.. But nonetheless it can help you see what has helped me be formed and shaped into who I am today. with love.. [ME]

Yes this website kept me up all night yesterday.. but I was laughing so hard I was crying. Please keep in mind this site is not suited for children there are crude comments.. but here are a few moderate ones i found that made me laugh.. so laugh it up :)

tiffany & co. so i want this.. please and thank you. and it's only $250.. i think thats reasonable. =)

I am a frequent reader of the blog of one of the greatest men of God I have ever had the pleasure of knowing Rev. Cary Gordon. Associate Pastor of Cornerstone World Outreach . This is what he posted.. If you like what you read go to Peacemakers Institute and help get America back where it first began.. Enjoy. BY DOUG GILES The other day I was queuing up to speak at a conference about “Raising Righteous and Rowdy Kids in a Rank Day,” but because the last Tea Party I attended was so woefully deficient in pastors during these historic times I decided to switch my topic and put my crosshairs on the squishy, compromised pink flesh of the craven brethren. Now, this screed is primarily for Christian pastors, but in the spirit of multicultural interfaith yumminess, leaders of other faiths may feel free to apply this message to themselves and send me hate mail as well. Except for the Muslims. This ain’t for ya’ll. We don’t want to tick you off, y’know … because of the whole “kaboom” thing. Befo...

weheartit I want to be that quote that you never forget. The reason you check your phone a million times, just to see if I called. Can I be the reason for your smile Or why you can't seem to figure out what to wear. I want every love song to remind you of me. I want the distance between us to make you anticipate us being reunited. The sleepless nights.. I want those to be because of me too. I want to roam your dreams and live in your memory. Perhaps you can long for my voice with every passing minute. When you hear or read a story about lovers and their fight to be together.. Just know thats about us. If that movie comes on, may it remind you of me. I want THAT restaurant to make you smile.. not because it's so good, but because you see me there, even when I'm not. I want you to smile at the most awkward moments because you remember something we did together. I want all of that for you because I get all of those things. And if you get them, well maybe that means you love ...

So i have just joined 20 something bloggers and I am trying to figure it out.. i still have no idea what to do but i'm sure i will everntually. ha.. so if anyone has any suggestions that would help me out there.. please let me know!!

weheartit I think all of is need a little reminder of this. For some reason lately I have needed it. I know how conceited that sounds but there is always a time when you just don't feel attractive. Your pictures never come out right, your hair just doesn't do what it used to and makeup just seems like another necessity. I just haven't had the motivation to do anything. I have been working out everyday (minus yesterday) for an hour .. and the fact that results take time.. URGH !! I want to look like a skinny Minny NOW. To bad without drastic surgery that won't happen. There are so many things that I want to change about my appearance; having longer hair (which takes time), being skinny, having toned arms, wearing clothes that make me look hot instead of like a preschool teacher.. and than I realize I keep focusing on my physical appearance. I don't do this on purpose but it's hard not to when thats all rest of the world seems to focus on. I mean seriously when...

its poetry to my ears.. I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away And opening up has always been the hardest thing Until you came So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known And I just can't take my eyes off you And I just can't take my eyes off you I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just wake up And I love how you tease me when I'm moody, but it's never too much I'm falling fast, and the truth is I'm not scared at all You broke my wall So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com And I just can't take my eyes off you And I just can't take my eyes off you, off you, off you So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go Oh, this feeling I'm feeling is s...

I had the honor in watching Eric Samuel Timm in action. He does his painting live and they don't take much time. He tells a story while doing so spreading Jesus' love this is a painting my friend Luis did.. i love it!! Luis also did this one. i love art.. this tree is done in stippling.. if you look closely it is just a bunch of tiny dots that make up this picture!!

your the exception For all those men who have been lied to, cheated on, taken advantage of, stepped on.. and so on.. I would like to personally apologize to you. Yes I know why the heck am I apologizing if I wasn't the cause of your pain.. well someone has to and I know I have made mistakes and hurt people [guys] and I know how it feels. If I could take your pain, memories and any other horrible experience that came with us crappy females I would. Of course no one would believe me when I say that because it will never be possible and most will think that "I'm just saying that".. but I sincerely mean it. Though through those experiences I hope you have learned to guard your heart and became a better judge of character. There is this belief that all the "good"ones are taken or there is no such thing as a man worth your time. Of course there are plenty men who prove that to us EVERYDAY... but I think that is where ladies miss the good ones. We are so focused on...

fully independent music release.. now this girl is going places!!

i love you!! when i fall asleep the last thing i want to see is your eyes

ENTER HERE for a chance to win!! she has the most amazing blog full of random things.. she makes you think, makes you smile, and gives you inspiration. check her out!! it will be worth it i promise

i am completely in love with tim burton movies i would really love to go to this store i have a great love of all things owl .. i dont know why and you think that i would think twice since i saw the movie the 4th kind.. haha special thanks to miss trisha for showing me how to add links!! your are amazing!

picture from: http://weheartit.com/entry/5939585 so i have started my hard core work out and my goal.. to lose 20 pounds.. first step though.. just getting 10 off.. my ultimate goal.. to be able to fit in a 2 piece and look good while doing it.. or at least one of these outfits.. oh and if someone could show me how to post links to my posts that would be awesome.. thanks

i was innocent once. that was a long time ago or so it seems. that was before the long nights the echoing screams and the breaking glass. that was before curiousity got the best of me. before my mouth spilled lies and my heart held anger. before i closed my heart and built up 24 layers of what seems to be unpenetrable walls. that was when watching cartoons in the morning was more important than the extra sleep i don't need. long before the fear of movies, dark and people came about. a time when i could talk to anyone. before everything people said wasn't always a sexual comment or a hurtful word. where kids didnt practice sex at the age of 10 and playing in the mud wasn't as bad as a "contagious disease". internet didnt rule the world and friends were real friends. when i got open spankings for acting out in public and noone threatened to call social services. that was when inncence was possible

So this morning i wake up and do my usual. i check to see if Sergio e-mailed me.. and of course i didnt have one.. but then i went to my twitter page and one of my friends posted this blog. i started reading... It touched my heart so that i started crying. if you have the time check it out.if you dont have time make time. pass it along.lets get it out there. i thank Larissa and Ian for sharing their story with the rest of us. It's a brave thing to show the world the deep parts of your hearts and i appreciate them for that. im sorry i still havent figured out how to share links.. http://www.prayforian.com/

i spilled my insides and i made them cry. they had no hope, its not my fault they finally seen the truth i cannot apologize for the rash realizations that people come to. there is no future in the abyss. can't you see your story means nothing to the world. sure its the memories that you hold dear but honestly noone cares. you should just leave. here is some poison. or perhaps you'd like a grenade. i'm not cruel, i just wont refuse to pity the weak it is your responsiblity to keep your head above the ground. you are the only one who can win your fight.

Now that 2010 is officially over and it has been for about 3 and a half hours for me, I have been thinking about all of the things that will and can happen in 2011. I am not a believer of what a year can bring me because i know it is up to me to make those things happen. So I am going to get a job that will allow me to save as much as I can. I am going to try and replace most of my wardrobe! Move into a new place and start a new life. Of course I have to wait for the love of my life to return from Afghanistan but that will be in July!! (please don't extend this deployment, k thanks). I am gonna officialy have a halloween party because I have always wanted to throw one thats completely over the top.. come on Halloween is a time you can be whatever you want!! It's like dress up for adults! There are so many things I want to do this year.. but as of right now I will keep them a secret.. If and when they happen is when I will reveal it!! well I hope a great and prosperous New Year!...