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Showing posts from March, 2010

wordless .. from this passed month

you say

For some odd reason people have it in their heads that being a Christian means that you should accept people and things the way they are. In reality, to do that is to completely throw conviction to the wind. Just because we are to love one another doesnt mean we have to love the actions. Yes we believe in forgiveness and yes we are supposed to help our neighbor but when our neighbor refusses to help themselves than you just need to let go. Yes we are to abide by laws, but when the laws go against God than of course you should NOT comply. for instance i do believe in the death penalty when it is needed, its a life for a life. God sent people to walk around whole cities (i.e.- Jericho) and destroyed them because they were full of evil. He didnt even spare the animals. Do i believe that you can choose to take an innocent life (abortion)? No of course not. Just because the baby was concieved out of inconvenient and/or undesirable circumstances doesnt mean you have the right to choose whet…

Crazy Heart

so i went to watch Crazy Heart with my mom.. i think the story line is interesting but i think the movie was a little boring.. .. though i must say it makes me wanna learn guitar all the more so i can write songs and feel like im accomplishing something..

and just so YOU know::: everytime i see that parking ramp... i think of you.. :D


I look at me today.. and i see someone completely different than who i was even a year ago. i have noticed that i seclude myself. i dont mean to but for some reason i have become somewhat anti social. it kid of hurts me. i dont talk to people like i used to. i do miss some of the old me. the perky always bubbly excited about everything person.. maybe its just that i dont know many people. i like not having many friends. though i miss having tons of acquiantances.. people that i can just say hi to. i dont like people looking at me and not knowing me. people would never have me watch their kids because i dont look like a kid person.. but i love kids.. i miss working with them. i guess i just seem to miss alot of things.. i need to learn to be perky again. stop guarding myself so much. i dont even know how i became this way. i cant remember. though there is alot i struggle at remembering.. in other news... im gonna be 23 in about 5 days.. scary. i dont like that life is just going way t…

Bright Star

i just watched the movie "Bright Star" about the poet John Keats. It was amazing. an excellent love story and so very poetic.. sigh* He truly was an extraordinary writer. Though I am a little unussual when it comes to movies. I for some reason tend to like what everyone else doesnt.

p.s. there is a book.. its probable more than worth the read. Bright Star Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art-- Not in lone splendour hung aloft this night And watching, with eternal lids apart, Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite, The moving waters at their priestlike task Of pure ablution round earth's human shores, Or gazing on new-soft fallen mask Of snow upon the mountains and the moors-- No-- yet still steadfast, still unchangeable, pillow'd upon my fair loves ripened breast, To fill forever its soft fall and swell, Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, And so live ever--or else swoon to death. John Keats

all the things

chaotic insecurities
i pluck my eyebrows and shave my legs,
flaunt my assests, work my strut and see whos looking.
i spent 3 hours coloring my hair and 1 straightening it,
i walk with my head held high yet i slowly lower it
in the presence of those known as "real women".
i wear a mask of makeup to cover my imperfections
and paint my nails to add beauty.
yet its still not enough.
I'm told if i weigh more than 110 pounds i need
to lose it.
i'd like to personally thank those who helped
convice me that it doesnt matter how you lose it,
so i stick my finger down my throat and let it all
come back up. it doesnt matter at least i ate something.
i dumb myself down a little so i dont make you feel
unintelligent. your welcome.
still its not enough. so i will continue to "improve"
myself to fit the perfect profile. but somehow deep down
i know i'll never get there but i WILL keep trying.