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blah

I look at me today.. and i see someone completely different than who i was even a year ago. i have noticed that i seclude myself. i dont mean to but for some reason i have become somewhat anti social. it kid of hurts me. i dont talk to people like i used to. i do miss some of the old me. the perky always bubbly excited about everything person.. maybe its just that i dont know many people. i like not having many friends. though i miss having tons of acquiantances.. people that i can just say hi to. i dont like people looking at me and not knowing me. people would never have me watch their kids because i dont look like a kid person.. but i love kids.. i miss working with them. i guess i just seem to miss alot of things.. i need to learn to be perky again. stop guarding myself so much. i dont even know how i became this way. i cant remember. though there is alot i struggle at remembering..

in other news... im gonna be 23 in about 5 days.. scary. i dont like that life is just going way to fast.. can anyone slow it down for me.??

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bedtime music, can you see what kind of mood i am in. ;)