somehow im so emotional yet so.... dead. i resist all feeling, im told "its not healthy to keep it all inside". i hate that when im upset, angry or sad that i dont know why. when someone asks me whats wrong all i can say is "i dont know". and most dont believe me and press the issue. but if i have nothing to tell you what can i do. i never cry.. ever.. i hate it. i dont mind when other people do. but for me to cry, its like the ultimate no, no. but there was a day when thats all i did.. i weeped and cried. i havent been like that in so long. it was the littlest things. songs. or thoughts. just anything made me tear up. when i was asked "crying makes you feel better doesnt it?" truth is for me it really doesnt. though i wish i could be one of those girls who can just crawl into someones arms and shed these unwanted nothings.. but i dont know how. i dont know how to talk. i dont know how to let anyone know whats going through my head. i honestly wish i could just let it go. i just want to cry in your arms... whoever you are.. anyone who could show me how to make this easier. to make me feel that its ok to do so...
Heroless Endeavor.. mindless ramblings of nothing at all
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