my insides are eating me from the inside out.. im caught between it and i dont know what to do.. im scared worried and confused.. o the choices we make and the people they affect. where do i go from here.. what do i say how do i do this.. im aching from the depths of my soul... please make the right decision.. follow your heart and do what you have to do... the more i think on it the more unsure i am.. now i think i've lost it all.. but for what?? what do i gain. i feel like a stinkin roller coaster that just keeps going and going.. its making me sick... i cant change how i feel.. i wanted it forever.. please dont make me say no.... i hope i didnt miss out on my chance..
Sometime I wish people would learn not to underestimate me. When I want to get somewhere or get something accomplished I am very capable of doing so. Of course there are always limitations and set backs but I know how to push through it. I lived in a time where our money was tight and we had very little but we made it through.. Just because I am where I am today and don't look like i have ever had to fight my way out of the bottom doesn't mean anything. Looks can and are deceiving. Of course I don't believe in telling what most would call a "sob" story. I am not one who looks for a pity party.. But please know that I do know what it is like to go without in many aspects. I embrace that time in my life and it has taught me to be thankful of what I have. I will never forget it but I also will never return. Was it by choice and my own doing?? Of course not, who chooses to go without? Being born into it is one thing.. but staying in it is another. We all make decision...
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