I find myself realizing how wrong i have been. how selfish and inadequate ive MADE myself to be. yes its true i have done it by my own decisions. my heart heart breaks yet its renewed. My God is more than amazing. if only you my friends could find what i have.. what im still chasing after.. what i'll be forever chasing. He is my comforter and my shield.. though even at this moment He repremands me for the wrong i need to correct. no matter what it would be impossible for me to turn away from Him. my heart is being worked on it ways that are uncomfortable and at times seems impossible to handle. i can honestly say i dont like it at times. i find myself crying and feeling things i have blocked for so many years. i am greatful for it. i need my heart softened in so many ways.. He is breathing His life inside of me.. i was once told God was going to use me in a wonderful way, the same man told me "learn spanish if you don't know it". i do know spanish and i am soon to be on my way to honduras. who would have known when i was 15 that i wouldnt see that fulfilled until i was 23.. but it just goes to show that God does things on His timing NOT mine.. and thank goodness for that. my God calls me His beloved. He wants me even when noone else does. He knows what breaks my heart and what my flaws are. He embraces me and even in the loudest storms whispers just loud enough for me to hear him.. He tells me im beautiful to Him. leave the cares of the world behind you.. I have restored you.. you are whole in ME.. as i sit and write i weep because i am overwhelmed by the greatness of my Lord.
I havent written much on my trip to Honduras and I'm not exactly sure why. Here is my first attempt. The one outreach that sticks out in my mind and I'm sure everyone else's was when we went to CASITA MUJERES. It was a "home" for young girls from the ages of maybe 6-18. On this day Pastor Chace asked me if I would give my testimony. Now in my head I'm thinking "are you serious" but I of course say yes. This is my first time ever to give the story of what made me who I am today. That whole day I was so nervous, anyone who knows me also knows that I'm not one to really get nervous about anything. Just the thought of exposing who I am to a whole crowd of people including those from church and my siblings, it just made me feel vulnerable. Our bus is driving on down the road to our destination when we notice a traffic jam. Great it's already hot and sweaty and now there is no movement for the air to circulate through the bus. I guess it was exactl
Comments
Post a Comment