Thursday, June 3, 2010

Hagar.

oh how i have slacked on this whole writing thing.. i used to do it non stop for hours on end and now.. its just not the same.
i've been doing alot of thinking.. alot of praying.. discovering who i am in God and how He sees me. I want to be able to see myself how He see's me. I as a woman struggle with insecurities, doubts and emptiness from time to time. i will beat myself down and see myself as nothing of importance.. just as some would say "another face in the endless crowd". I was reading today in a book called "broken to beautiful" and the author was talking about Hagar the servant of Abrams wife Sarai. How Hagar must have felt when she had to move far from her home to because she was a servant and then to be forced to wed and sleep with another womans husband, than on top of that be treated wrongly for something your mistress made you do. Sarai being jealous that Hagar bore Abram a child was cruel to Hagar. so Hagar fled. and in her loneliness God called her out by name. how amazing is that. just a servant girl, to have that kind of intimacy with God the Father. it astounds me. He knows everything about me. even when i mess up and throw who i am in His face.. He still whispers my name.

Hagar has inspired me for my first tattoo.. i'm so very excited.. we will see when i get it though.. :D