Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Casita Mujeres.

I havent written much on my trip to Honduras and I'm not exactly sure why. Here is my first attempt. The one outreach that sticks out in my mind and I'm sure everyone else's was when we went to CASITA MUJERES. It was a "home" for young girls from the ages of maybe 6-18. On this day Pastor Chace asked me if I would give my testimony. Now in my head I'm thinking "are you serious" but I of course say yes. This is my first time ever to give the story of what made me who I am today. That whole day I was so nervous, anyone who knows me also knows that I'm not one to really get nervous about anything. Just the thought of exposing who I am to a whole crowd of people including those from church and my siblings, it just made me feel vulnerable.
Our bus is driving on down the road to our destination when we notice a traffic jam. Great it's already hot and sweaty and now there is no movement for the air to circulate through the bus. I guess it was exactly one year since President Zelaya had been kicked out of the country and some of his followers were protesting (if you ask me those who kicked him out did that country a favor, but thats another story). We spent about 7 and a half hours on a stinky bus, thank goodness we have some very talented gum spitters who arent afraid of germs to entertain us :).
FINALLY we are on our way taking a complete back way and we pull up to this brick wall with no windows that goes all the way around the building. None of us really know what to think. it was definately a completely sealed building, all we knew was that we were lucky just to get a chance to enter this place. While on the bus we were instructed not to touch our faces after we go in there because of disease and things we could catch. We sent 3 of the guys in to set up the sound equipment we will be using. As they enter you hear screams and cheers of delight. What were we thinking sending a guy into a place full of girls, girls who have no interaction whatsoever with males. We are told to get off the bus and as we start entering i get this gut wrenching feeling. My heart pounds and i feel like my breath has been taken from me. I walk into the door and there are girls everywhere. The place screamed of abandonment and lonliness. Its like I entered a forgotten world, a world where these girls had to live. It was extremely dirty. They were physically dirty and you can tell many of them also felt emotionally dirty. I could feel the weight of the place baring down on me. Each face was different yet they all pretty much said the same thing "why are you here?" The Honduran team was in charge of the game this time. They did a watermelon eating contest. when the girls were done other girls came up and tried to eat what little scraps were left in the rind. I just watched as emotions continued to sweep over my body. My mind is going a hundred miles an hour. I was preparing for what i was going to say but all i could really do was look around. I began to cry.Of course i wouldnt let myself weep but there were tears that would fall. I had to turn around a few times and pull myself together. It reminded me of how broken i once was. I thought these girls might have never been told how beautiful they are or that they are worth something. I now realized why I was the one chosen to give my story. I was in a facility at one time in my life. I too have felt like many of those girls felt. As we were coming to the time i was supposed to speak I was told because the bus ride was too long there wasn't enough time. I was ok with that. We instead broke of into groups and talked to each girl. It was then i told my story to a group of 5 girls. At first they didnt recieve Rosa (my Honduran friend) and I. They were trying to put up a front that they didn't want us there. At the end there was only tears and laughs. I hugged each and everyone of them and told them they were strong and beautiful and I loved them. When it was time to go noone wanted to leave and the girls didnt want us to go. The hugs went on for about a half hour until finally we were made to go.