Skip to main content

the missing me

breath departs from my lungs

as he sits heavy on my chest.

screams escape my vocals

at his rough hands.

each and every touch

disgusts me more and more.

slowly he runs down my chest on to my stomach...

he reaches the southern regions.. you know the places where noone is suppose to go.

i shiver and shake. how can i face this. how can i face him?

i feel as my insides are being ripped to shreds. the pain shoots up my body.

who am i? where did this come from? what did i do....

he hungerly wanders the hollow shell thats left of me and i forcibly close every reaction in my bag of bones.

i know he is almost done, his body reacts in pleasure as mine only dies.

with every ounce of energy left within me i hold myself together.. i cover as much as i can.

i have been branded for life, this is one dirt that can never wash off, one memory i can never consign to oblivian. He is no more and i am noone.. all that i was has been kidnapped and raped.. i am no longer an innocent.

empty inside thats what happens in abuse..

Popular posts from this blog

Oh Me Oh My

Life, its been quite the journey. As much as I've wanted to get back at this again, I have also been avoiding it. There has just been so much that has happened from my time in North Carolina until now. This is somewhat of a recap I suppose. I left NC with a lot of unwanted baggage. I say this in the most metaphorical way possible.
As most of you all know. I was married to a marine and we lived out in Camp Lejeune. It was a pretty awesome stay as far as the friends and opportunities I had.  Unfortunately it was short lived due to my ex-husband not being a very nice person and to some of the PTSD he suffered from that went untreated. Basically the relationship was toxic and abusive. So much so that I lost a lot of who I was in always being on the defensive and sticking up for myself. I'm not saying that is was all his fault. Just as in any relationship, both parties are responsible for nurturing or poisoning. So here I am almost 5 years later living my life and loving it.

Love this! written by Tanya Amidei

Public Declaration; I NO longer believe in falling/being in love: As I was walking to work this morning I was convicted and reproved for ignorantly believing that I could "fall in love". Love is NOT something you fall into; this pulsing truth wouldn't silence. Now, you can imagine how I felt as the conviction in my heart arose; slightly defensive because certainly I've been defining love properly, right? So, I decided that it was my responsibility to pierce into the Word of my Father, and search to see if this concept of "falling in love" or "being in love" is something that I should indeed attach my life to. Now, it was to my surprise that this concept of emotional intoxication that motivates the lips to part and the tongue to say "I'm in love" is NOWHERE to be found! In fact, as I dug into research I found that this concept; the one I've been guilty of co-signing my name to, is nothing more than lust. Lust is built on what the …

bedtime music, can you see what kind of mood i am in. ;)