Skip to main content

self examination

Is it odd that just once I wish one person knew me. I mean ALL of me, inside and out. Even the parts I have forgotten about or have stashed away. I have this ball stuck on the inside and I don't know how to get rid of it. This wretched pain that is always there but I don't even know what it is. A prison that's deep inside. Things that have been locked up for so long, I forgot what they are but I feel them. I sometimes wish someone would make me sit there for hours and let me spill ME out. Even if it doesn't make sense. Just help me lose the broken parts of me. I know it's my fault because I have always took what came and stuffed it. I am good at pretending. Pretending it's a wonderful day. Pretending my smile is real. Pretending no one can hurt me. I pretend to be STRONG. Thinking of anyone being that close scares me beyond anything I can imagine. To be on that level of intimacy is nothing I can really comprehend but know I want. I am always afraid that of I did finally spill out to someone, they will treat me like a leper.
There is always the thought of never being good enough. I don't consider myself a beautiful person and the fact that I am realizing that hurts. There is so much I want to write but even here I know I have to hold back..

Popular posts from this blog

Atole de Avena (oatmeal drink)

so in the mornings i LOVE to drink Atole.keep in mind there are different ways to make this. there is with Masa Herina which is the same stuff you use when making tamales, also you can mave atole de elote (corn. its even better than coffee and i adore coffee..
here is a recipe hope you enjoy!!
Ingredients:

•2 cups water
•1 Mexican cinnamon stick, whole (no substitute)
•1½ cups quick oats
•3 cups whole milk*
•sugar to taste
* 2% or skim milk may be substituted; however, keep in mind that this will affect the flavor and overall texture of the finished product.

Directions:

Combine water and cinnamon stick in a medium-sized saucepan and bring to a gentle boil. Allow to simmer for about 3 minutes. Lower heat to medium and add in oats, stirring frequently so that they don’t stick to the bottom of the pan. Once oats are softened and have absorbed most of the water, add in the milk and stir to combine well. Allow atole to return to a boil and then lower the heat once again so that it can begin to thick…

Love this! written by Tanya Amidei

Public Declaration; I NO longer believe in falling/being in love: As I was walking to work this morning I was convicted and reproved for ignorantly believing that I could "fall in love". Love is NOT something you fall into; this pulsing truth wouldn't silence. Now, you can imagine how I felt as the conviction in my heart arose; slightly defensive because certainly I've been defining love properly, right? So, I decided that it was my responsibility to pierce into the Word of my Father, and search to see if this concept of "falling in love" or "being in love" is something that I should indeed attach my life to. Now, it was to my surprise that this concept of emotional intoxication that motivates the lips to part and the tongue to say "I'm in love" is NOWHERE to be found! In fact, as I dug into research I found that this concept; the one I've been guilty of co-signing my name to, is nothing more than lust. Lust is built on what the …

LICHAS!! gotta try something new!!

so this is a fruit we ate in honduras.. they are so nummy.. if you ever have a chance please do try them..