Skip to main content

heart a break

I am a big Demi Lovato fan. I know, what a confession. But I look at her as a person not just a celebrity. It is because she and I have had some similar problems so when I hear a song I like from her its easy to relate.

"Don't wanna break your heart
Wanna give your heart a break
I know you're scared it's wrong
Like you might make a mistake
There's just one life to live
And there's no time to waste, to waste"


I know this is about her trying to convince someone to let her love them but I would rather turn it around. How many times have I had that moment when I said I'd NEVER let anyone else in. Of course after every heart break. The times when someone decided I was no longer what the wanted. I wasn't good enough or they were officially bored. Every time I would say to myself, " this time I've learned my lesson, this time I'm done. I can't do this again." I step back and try to recuperate my heart. How conveniently would someone else come along with a convincing line or story. Someone who would fool me that this time would be different. He is not like the others. On and on it went. You always hope that maybe this person will ease the bleeding of the last laceration, but you find they only leave you cut deeper. I do believe that you allow people to have power over you. Its hard not to. But I also believe in not letting others getting satisfaction in seeing you in pain. So fake it until you mean it baby!! It might be a little twisted but it's a coping mechanism. The more you pretend you are good the less they think they have had an impact on you. They will, in the end feel like they must have been unimportant. This might hurt their pride. Oh freakin well!!! What I have gained from these unfortunate relationships is how to close myself off. Always on the defense. Wondering what peoples motives are for talking to me. For wanting to get to know me. In my eyes people always have a questionable reason until I am proven differently. In other words you have to work to get into my heart, my mind, my true friendship. Each and every person who walks into your life has some kind of impact on your life and how you are. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

bedtime music, can you see what kind of mood i am in. ;)

 

the stars ask....

the stars shown bright this night the one with sleepless surrender they asked me what i thought of the moon the moon i said.. hmm thats a good question i think its delightful. giving off just enough light to see from inside these shadows. the ones that i lurk behind watching as life passes by. longing to belong but yet still yearning to be different.. its a choatic mix of nothing that i can achieve. im afraid i'll stay in these shadows forever. never leaning on peace of mind or acceptance. clinging only to what i know best. lingering in darkness and creeping in the night. what a poor, poor soul replied the stars as they left after night.

i hope you dont mind emily

the HIPPIE the nerd nail painting what a boring day.. errr my only real day off until next week and i had nothing to do.. boo but i got some of the cutest pictures from my Kenzie while she was babysitting the gorgeous miss Sophia.. she truly is adorable.. true story.. Kenzie and i have decided she's a nerd like us.. sorry miss emily but its true.. o and also a hippie.. so we are all nerd/hippies.. works well i think.. :D [miss emily i hope you dont mind that i posted these if you do then let me know and i will take it off.. kk] <3