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if books dont make you think you need a new one ;)

Tonight I finally decided that before I go to bed I was going to read a little. I have been horrible in this area since I have been home visiting my family. But for good reason. I would rather spend time with them than be in a book. You know you're important if I give up reading for you ;) Anyways I finally kept trucking through Mockingjay, don't get me wrong its been a great book and I am not even half way through it. I just keep getting distracted. There was a quote that stood out to me. Katniss is standing there looking at some amazing weapons and she asks Gale if it would be easy for him to use that [the weapon] on someone. He tells her that's not what he said but if it was a necessity than yes. she agrees and then thinks to herself, "but I don't know what to tell him about the aftermath of killing a person. About how they never leave you."
I know that most of us (I would hope all) would easily say YES we would use it to protect ourselves and those we care about. Heck I would like to say I would defend anyone who needed it. But what we say and what we will do in that instant are two different things. I know it would be my nature to not hesitate when someone I care for is in danger and I could help. But in all honesty we can NEVER imagine what it's like until we have been there. We can't even grasp how we would feel afterwards. What we would see in the process and how we would deal with it. It really makes me think of those people who live in countries that are constantly at war or those who fight for this country. We can never know the feeling even if we hear about it. We can sympathize and feel for them but we can not feel like them. I am grateful that I live in a country that I can breathe and not hide underground, that I have people who don't even know me willing to fight for me. Willing to have an innocent part of them ripped out. To have their lives make a concrete change... It's 11:30 pm and this is the things books make me think about.

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bedtime music, can you see what kind of mood i am in. ;)