Skip to main content

jiggle jello

some nights i just feel inadequat...im unable to sleep though im sooo very tired i figured i'd write a lil something.. im actually angry at myself and my appearance. i feel huge.. and I KNOW every female complains they are fat.. but today it just gets to me... i want to be beautiful. i want to be able to fit in a freakin size 5 jean and not wonder if ill ever pull out that 2 piece again. trust me its been hiding for about 6 years now.. i dont want to have to worry about gaining weight or someday becoming grossly obese.. though i know i would never allow that to happen. i would honestly starve myself before that came about.. but right now i want to be that other person. the one i just saw in those pictures.. or at least that size... my everything is just tooo big.. everything except my self esteem... time to get down to business and get rid of all this grossness.. (i know that cant be a word). tear.... *

p.s. even when your just joking those fat jokes still get to me...
Labels:

Comments

  1. Luis FuentesFebruary 1, 2010 at 11:05 PM

    I wish you knew you were more beautiful than most girls..

    guess you never will.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

i am not so naive

Sometime I wish people would learn not to underestimate me. When I want to get somewhere or get something accomplished I am very capable of doing so. Of course there are always limitations and set backs but I know how to push through it. I lived in a time where our money was tight and we had very little but we made it through.. Just because I am where I am today and don't look like i have ever had to fight my way out of the bottom doesn't mean anything. Looks can and are deceiving. Of course I don't believe in telling what most would call a "sob" story. I am not one who looks for a pity party.. But please know that I do know what it is like to go without in many aspects. I embrace that time in my life and it has taught me to be thankful of what I have. I will never forget it but I also will never return. Was it by choice and my own doing?? Of course not, who chooses to go without? Being born into it is one thing.. but staying in it is another. We all make decision...
Post a Comment
older posts

negative challenge update #1

I know it has only been a day since I started this challenge, but let me tell you it is not easy. So far I have bit my tongue and have done a good job at not speaking anything out loud. My problem is in my head. It spins with words. I think that will be my roughest spot.. cleaning out my head. It is harder than you think. It's hard to shut off the thoughts that are trying to come out of your mouth.. But so far I can say I am doing better than I thought I would. I hope this can spread. :) sincerely [ME].
Post a Comment
older posts

you who are broken

my heart yearns for you that one that feels so lost. i know your broken, if only i say Maybe I'll be the one to help make you whole. glue your pieces back together? make you love another. i don't want to make you perfect your your flaws are what make you beautiful. their what draw me closer.. ill close my eyes and dream of you of being what you need...
Post a Comment
older posts