Sunday, January 16, 2011

ramblings of an insane insecurity

I think all of is need a little reminder of this. For some reason lately I have needed it. I know how conceited that sounds but there is always a time when you just don't feel attractive. Your pictures never come out right, your hair just doesn't do what it used to and makeup just seems like another necessity. I just haven't had the motivation to do anything. I have been working out everyday (minus yesterday) for an hour .. and the fact that results take time.. URGH!! I want to look like a skinny Minny NOW. To bad without drastic surgery that won't happen.
There are so many things that I want to change about my appearance; having longer hair (which takes time), being skinny, having toned arms, wearing clothes that make me look hot instead of like a preschool teacher.. and than I realize I keep focusing on my physical appearance. I don't do this on purpose but it's hard not to when thats all rest of the world seems to focus on. I mean seriously when was the last time someone told you, "Wow!, your soul is beautiful" or "My! you have a loving heart?"
The things we have grown up believing (and I still believe they are important) most often tend to be overlooked. It is just so frusterating. So I will continue to try and convince myself that while appearance matters, it's definately NOT as important as your inner beauty. Which I know is completely true. Have you ever met a beautiful person with an ugly interior? Let's just say they are not beautiful after they open their mouths.